Pardon Me

Picture is from the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros concert we went to after my first two root canals.  That night was a trip.

I wanted to apologize for being gone this month. I had a lot of great exciting things planed for my blog and I was feeling good about the direction it was going. But life is funny and fickle and hardly ever goes according to plan. So I guess I should have known I would be traveling the road to hell this month. The best news as of late is that it is not a one way street, and I'm scooting my way back to real life. Relieved and grateful for a bit of normalcy.

I was having some tooth aches/pain a few weeks ago which ended up turning into five root canals and 4 crowns ( I didn't know initially I would need FIVE... things just kept getting worse and it was a huge case of the domino effect). I drove 3 hours 3 times (In a week and a half) to have this work done in Nevada because heaven knows Nevada is half as cheap as California. I was poked and proded and restrained. I had dry ice put on a highly sensitive tooth. I sat in a chair with my mouth open for over five hours straight (causing my jaw to lock up for 10+ minutes) and major jaw pain later. I spent 25+ hours at the dentist office. I had over ten x-rays taken. Spent well over $5,000 (after insurance). Been taking medication every 4 hours. Had a couple of good freak outs and said some cuss words.

Anyway, the point of all that is not to make you feel bad for me or to justify my absence. The point is that through all this I've learned a few things.

1. To be grateful. Grateful for my health and even though this trial has been painful and horrible it hasn't been life threatening and nothing compared to the hardships that others go through. I was especially thinking of my friends Geri and Jason who have been waiting for a donor for Jason to get his double lung transplant! (which he just got btw... yay!) How do I compare?

 2. To have compassion. I've been very blessed with good health my entire life. I guess my bad teeth are a way for me to try to understand those who live a life of chronic pain.

3. To trust my Father in Heaven. In church today we sang an impromptu hymn of "where can I turn for peace". The words of the second verse really touched me.

Where, when my aching grows,
Where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand
He, only One.

It was one of those tender mercies from the Lord. The word aching can describe so many things but in that moment it was describing me, my aching teeth and the weeks of anguish I had been through. Only he understands and ultimately only he could bring me the peace I was lacking.

4. This I already knew, but my husband is truly nothing short of amazing. I broke down in tears multiple times just because of my overwhelming love for him and his service to me. He has tended to my every need (and there have been many). He got up in the night with me, watched endless chick flicks, made me food, cleaned the house, drove me to Reno and sat by my side, etc etc. I feel so blessed to be married to my best friend.

5. I have the best friends and family. Not a day went by that I didn't get a text or phone call. My dear mother (who also happens to be a nurse) got calls from me constantly about what medicine I could or couldn't take and how to control the pain. She even got to hear from me at 5:00 am when I woke up knowing I would need yet ANOTHER root canal. Oh and my dad, he offered to have his finger cut off if it would take the pain away. Kind of a strange offer but still very sweet. I love my family and I am grateful for their prayers on my behalf.

Well as I wrap this LONG post up I realize I have maybe been a little over dramatic (but tooth pain really is the WORST right?) and I am slightly embarrassed to admit to the world just how bad my teeth are ( I brush them, I PROMISE).