Pardon Me

Sunday, September 23, 2012

paradonme-01
Picture is from the Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros concert we went to after my first two root canals.  That night was a trip.

I wanted to apologize for being gone this month. I had a lot of great exciting things planed for my blog and I was feeling good about the direction it was going. But life is funny and fickle and hardly ever goes according to plan. So I guess I should have known I would be traveling the road to hell this month. The best news as of late is that it is not a one way street, and I'm scooting my way back to real life. Relieved and grateful for a bit of normalcy.

I was having some tooth aches/pain a few weeks ago which ended up turning into five root canals and 4 crowns ( I didn't know initially I would need FIVE... things just kept getting worse and it was a huge case of the domino effect). I drove 3 hours 3 times (In a week and a half) to have this work done in Nevada because heaven knows Nevada is half as cheap as California. I was poked and proded and restrained. I had dry ice put on a highly sensitive tooth. I sat in a chair with my mouth open for over five hours straight (causing my jaw to lock up for 10+ minutes) and major jaw pain later. I spent 25+ hours at the dentist office. I had over ten x-rays taken. Spent well over $5,000 (after insurance). Been taking medication every 4 hours. Had a couple of good freak outs and said some cuss words.

Anyway, the point of all that is not to make you feel bad for me or to justify my absence. The point is that through all this I've learned a few things.

1. To be grateful. Grateful for my health and even though this trial has been painful and horrible it hasn't been life threatening and nothing compared to the hardships that others go through. I was especially thinking of my friends Geri and Jason who have been waiting for a donor for Jason to get his double lung transplant! (which he just got btw... yay!) How do I compare?

 2. To have compassion. I've been very blessed with good health my entire life. I guess my bad teeth are a way for me to try to understand those who live a life of chronic pain.

3. To trust my Father in Heaven. In church today we sang an impromptu hymn of "where can I turn for peace". The words of the second verse really touched me.

Where, when my aching grows,
Where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand
He, only One.


It was one of those tender mercies from the Lord. The word aching can describe so many things but in that moment it was describing me, my aching teeth and the weeks of anguish I had been through. Only he understands and ultimately only he could bring me the peace I was lacking.

4. This I already knew, but my husband is truly nothing short of amazing. I broke down in tears multiple times just because of my overwhelming love for him and his service to me. He has tended to my every need (and there have been many). He got up in the night with me, watched endless chick flicks, made me food, cleaned the house, drove me to Reno and sat by my side, etc etc. I feel so blessed to be married to my best friend.

5. I have the best friends and family. Not a day went by that I didn't get a text or phone call. My dear mother (who also happens to be a nurse) got calls from me constantly about what medicine I could or couldn't take and how to control the pain. She even got to hear from me at 5:00 am when I woke up knowing I would need yet ANOTHER root canal. Oh and my dad, he offered to have his finger cut off if it would take the pain away. Kind of a strange offer but still very sweet. I love my family and I am grateful for their prayers on my behalf.

Well as I wrap this LONG post up I realize I have maybe been a little over dramatic (but tooth pain really is the WORST right?) and I am slightly embarrassed to admit to the world just how bad my teeth are ( I brush them, I PROMISE).

14 comments:

  1. So glad the worst part is over for you. You're amazing!

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    1. Thank you for being a good friend through it all and checking up on me!

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  2. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that! Aren't families the best?! You are one tough woman. Glad it's all over.

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  3. I have a hard time believing that you swore.

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    1. Well damn Justin. Don't you even know me at all?

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    2. wow! I just died of laughter hahaha!!!

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  4. So sorry you had to go through that, I had no idea! Glad you're doing better, hope the blogging resumes, because your blog is definitely one of my favorites to read!

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    1. cThanks Colie :) I appreciate it! Can't believe you are already leaving California. You need to update your blog so I can stay in the loop!

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  5. Ash, that is terrible! I'm sorry you had all that happen, in such a short period of time- you need to go lay on a beach in Thailand for a reward:) I read about your friend Jason, sounds like a fighter. My twin neices that are 2 months old, got diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis:( Bummer news, so apparently it runs in Dave's family and we had no idea- it's a horrible disease and we are hoping these little babies have a mild form- miss and love you Ash!

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    1. What sad news! That makes my heart ache :( The only good news I suppose is the progress they are making with the disease. Hopefully by the time they are older there will even be a cure. Thanks for the sweet message (Thailand can't come soon enough!) Love you Linny!

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  6. ohhh..Ash this post made me cry! I am so sorry for all that you have had to go through this past month I wish I could of taken the pain for you! You are such an incredible sister and I am so proud of you, while going through all of this you still had such a great attitude and held your head so high. Love you forever sis and I have always looked up to your strength and amazingly strong spirit. xox

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  7. Ashie- Are you kidding me? That is definitely the month from hell. I am so sorry you had to go through that. It breaks my heart when I see people come in for tooth problems and I'm sad to know that you had to go through that. Not only because of the pain involved, but because of the dang amount of money it costs! I think you have set the record for the most root canals done in one month! Poor thing! I hope you are feeling better and if it makes you feel better almost every woman I have talked to says they'd rather have babies than root canals, so just think- the best is yet to come! haha! Love ya and hope things get better!

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  8. Tooth pain truly is the worst. (As is one of those non-necessary pains that creep up over time. I don't know what is worst, the toothache or the cost! Am I right?) I don't know you, but I too have had a LOT of dental work. And I'm sorry you had to go through. But just so you know, it gives me a glimmer of commraderie knowing that I'm not alone with my multiple root canal experience. Thanks for sharing and I hope you are doing better now!

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