No longer pretending

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

babybane_01babybane_02babybane_03babybane_04babybane_05babybane_06babybane_07babybane_08babybane_09babybane_10babybane_11babybane_12 As the second oldest with four siblings below me I was no stranger to babies. In fact I once put approximately 25 drops of green food coloring into my little brothers bottle so he would drink it. And he did! He also throw up and pooped turquoise green for the next few days and I was warned of the dangers of "food color poisoning". I was practically a baby myself (11 yrs old) at the time so the concept of mothering to me was the same as playing house.

But now I'm playing house for real (sans baby) and its not so much play as it is work. And while the thought of mothering still seems like "pretend" to me, I am one step closer as I picked up my nephew Bane for the first time and watch him lock his eyes on me. My heart got warm and my eyes a little wet as I held this little miracle in my arms. A little piece of my baby sister.

And then I watched my sister be a mother. No longer pretending. She was such a natural, even in her learning. She wasn't scared. She was brave and selfless, just like she has always been. The love poured out of her heart and straight into her arms as she held him tight. I thought of all the mothers in my life, my grandma's, my mother, my mother-in-law and now my sister and I became overwhelmed with love and respect for the sacred calling that is motherhood.


  1. This is ABSOLUTELY beautiful in every way! Thanks for sharing Ash!:)

  2. Ash, these pictures are beautiful! You have a very pretty sister and an adorable little nephew! :)

  3. are so good with words and so so talented. this made me cry like a baby reading it. thank you for being such a wonderful sister. gosh i am so lucky! thank you for taking these pictures too..i love them so much! they will always be so close to my heart.

  4. These pictures are some of your best, and this post is probably the most beautiful thing you've ever written. Your sister seems awesome, and you are amazing. You'll be a great mother some day. Such a natural at it

  5. these pictures are awesome. you're next. you are a natural. although i do think you and alden are having too much fun to have kids. as soon as you are sick of him, then start;)


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